That mountain I’m not willing to climb, especially when I’m gonna be climbing it alone.
It deters me even more so.
It seems like forever since we last spoke, yet your voice resonates within.
Harsh truth, woke me up from my dream of this elusive reconciliation.
I needed it.
A slap upon my stubby cheek, and a shock from my stupor.
We were good, but you changed not a single bit.
I had been a fool to hold onto this pipe dream of mine, like the Germans instigating the world war, colluding with the Japanese.
Slaughtering the Jews.
You torn me to shreds, ripped my heart right out from my harnessed ribs, yet the dwindled affection still yearns for you.
…I was not myself for weeks yet nobody noticed.
I wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t.
It scares me sometimes, the emptiness I see in my eyes.
I left you because I couldn’t handle it anymore- the empty eyes, the blank expressions, the way you talk about everything like it’s nothing. I’d never felt more alone than I did when I was with you. You thought I left out of boredom? I left out of loneliness. I needed someone to love me, and you never could.
― The reason for 2012 drama.
Many people believe every age marks something significant, that you should accomplish a certain something by a certain time. Your first kiss, losing your virginity, getting married. Learning to drive, knowing what you want to be, succeeding in your goals. But that’s not true. Let things just happen. Make sure you’re ready. Stay wise. Give yourself time to develop. There is no rush to live.
Most things about me are hard to explain, I guess, like how I’m mostly delusional and live in a half-imaginary world but am also a realist to the core. I’m just a bunch of contradictions most of the time and I don’t like it, but I also do.